Although I had initiated the following conversation at breakfast, I was soon to learn throughout the course of the day that I was not to be its sole beneficiary.
“I know we’ve tried it many times over the past ten years, but I’d at least like to make it for an entire day, then possible stretch it to thirty, and maybe even a year or more. Who knows? The sky’s the limit!”
“Are you nuts? What in the world makes you think you could last a whole day, much less a month, let alone a year? Usually after three hours you’re whining for release like the wannabe baby you want to be. Okay. Okay. I’m still a little skeptical but let’s see if we can get you through the first 24 hours, and then maybe we’ll see if you’re game for more.”
Before the table was cleared, my loving wife seemingly out of nowhere, produced a 24 hour guest pass to Nanny’s Adult Day Care for use this very afternoon with the admonition….
“The pass states that the user agrees to a minimum 24 hour stay while adding in bold print, NO EXCEPTIONS PERMITTED.”
“Honey, this sounds like a great opportunity!”
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded with an impish smile while passing me the day pass, adding in a less than ambiguous manner, “Be forewarned, the thought of having you safely tucked away indefinitely is as exciting for me as it is for you.”
Later that afternoon around 4 o’clock, I paused outside Nanny’s Day Care afraid to enter as my wife’s earlier forewarning played out, over and over again in my head.
Spotting my tentativeness Denise walked outside and officially greeted me, “Welcome Mr. Williams we have been expecting you.”
“You knew I was coming?”
“Of course, Mr. Williams. Your wife stopped by yesterday afternoon. Was quite ecstatic when we told her there was an immediate opening for you.”
“She then left with your free 24 hour day pass, but not before thanking us. In fact kept repeating something about what a great opportunity.”
Our protagonist seemingly does not fully grasp the likely hood that he may not be coming home any time soon, or else on a deeper more subconscious level he yearns for just such an outcome. Either way it’s a moot point as Denise suddenly put on a more authoritative persona and commanded, “Follow me.”
As directed, I meekly followed her inside and down the darkened corridor, at which point upon entering the reserved suite she casually switched back to her earlier gentler tone, “Home sweet home!”
Home was never like this I thought to myself, as I immediately spotted an adult sized crib with four dangling shiny pink patent leather cuffs anchored into the wood, two on each side. Additionally, a play-pen and tram were situated in the middle of the room, and lastly in the far corner next to the full kitchenette was a rather formidable looking extra-large highchair with its own dangling leather cuffs at various intervals around its heavy wooden frame.
“I suggest we start with the crib. The highchair is reserved for meal times and it’s a little early for dinner. Perhaps tomorrow, if you’re still here for breakfast?” she teased.
I was directed to get completely undressed before being allowed to climb into the crib. Now inside with nudity established, I watched in anticipation as Denise systematically pulled the dangling leather cuffs through the crib slats, allowing them to rest atop the rubber covered mattress next to my naked torso. Next she skillfully slipped each wrist and ankle into its appropriate cuff, and then pulled its corresponding buckle as tight as possible.
Well past turning back, Mr. Williams instinctively opened his mouth as Denise leaned forward with the large adult sized baby pacifier in her right hand.
“Wider, much wider, she commanded,” While manipulating the massive, albeit pliable rubbery teat past his front teeth, not stopping until the large outer rim of the pink pacifier came to rest squarely around his lips, making its ejection impossible without the use of ones hands.
As her day shift at Nanny’s Day Care was coming to an end Denise informed the new wannabee, “Your mandatory 12 hour bedtime starts sharply at 7PM.”
Snappishly adding, while closing the door, “Don’t be late!” Knowing full-well that there was a zero chance of that happening.
After an unsuccessful but genuine all-out effort to get free and go home, our protagonist was forced to patiently wait under the false assumption that the staff at Nanny’s Day Care would be as likeminded and understanding as his wife, releasing him well before his preset time limit had been reached.
He was soon to learn differently as Nanny entered the suite attired in an awe-inspiring black leather trench coat severely cinched at the waist, and walked over to the crib with her high heels clicking on the marble floor.
“Mr. Williams, I was just on my way home and thought I’d check and see how things were going? It appears you’ve gotten off to a fine start.”
Upon noticing his determined tugging and futile squirming she reassuringly remarked, “Please feel free to tug on the shiny pink patent leather cuffs to your hearts content.”
While further emphasizing, “They were designed especially for wannabee babies like yourself who predictably have had a change of heart, and now wish to renege on their commitment to us.”
Paying no heed to his pleading eyes she cautioned, “Please spare us the theatrics. Both you and I know that any self-respecting nanny has to be strong, and hold firm when her authority is challenged. The brochure clearly states that there is a 24 hours minimum. No exceptions permitted.”
“Furthermore, you will soon learn that there are other things not permitted at Nanny’s Day Care,” as her gloved hand playfully slapped his growing appendage.”
The sudden awareness of his ever increasing precarious situation was unceremoniously interrupted by Nanny’s cell phone.
“Yes, Mrs. Williams, we have your husband securely tucked in for the night.” While further reassuring her, “Most definitely, I can tell you with complete certainty that for once he will make it past that nefarious three hour barrier.”
Teasingly adding while looking down at him,” Just this minute he’s struggling to show me how appreciative he is. It’s quite a performance.”
“Of course, we offer extended stays.” Brought forth an immediate garbled response from Mr. Williams as he vainly attempted to try and participate in the conversation.
Instinctively, Nanny placed her gloved hand sharply atop his pacified mouth pushing the crook of her hand tightly up against the bottom of his nose, thumb and forefinger coming to rest on opposing cheeks.
HOM successfully established, Nanny continued, “Mrs. Williams what did you have in mind?” while he continued struggling mutely underneath gloved hand, inhaling nothing but the overpowering scent of its new leather.
“That seems somewhat over the top Mrs. Williams. May I suggest we try for a month and proceed from there?” Continuing to increase the pressure across his mouth.
“No need to come and see us tomorrow. In fact it’s better if you stay away for the first month, allowing your husband a chance to settle into his new surroundings.”
“We can discuss it when you visit next month. Trust me, cost has never been a deal breaker.”
“Goodbye, until then,” as Nanny mercifully lifted her gloved hand from his pacified mouth allowing the first gulp of air in more than two minutes.
After pocketing her cell phone, Nanny redirected her attention back to Mr. Williams as he struggled to catch his breath.
“I suggest that you try and get a good night’s sleep.”
While further cautioning, “Tomorrow, we have a busy day planned for you.” as she turned and headed for the door, turning off the light, leaving him highly excited as he digested the magnitude of his wife’s unexpected phone call.
* * *
On the evening of the 30th day, shortly after he was tucked in for the night, and having fretted non-stop since breakfast about her return, his wife thankfully appeared setting forth conflicting feelings inside him.
Although he was ecstatic that his month long enforced chastity was about to come to an end, he was at the same time hoping for its forced continuation.
An incessant actress, his wife paraded across the room wearing a shiny black vinyl raincoat stopping in front of the occupied over-sized crib, before taking it off and dramatically tossing it over the crib’s raised railing.
She knew full well that he was powerless against its allure and would most certainly attempt to sniff its aroma, or at the very least fondle it had it not been for his restrained wrists and ankles.
Beginning her one-sided conversation, “I’m sorry. I know I promised to keep your favorite raincoat out of sight while you’re playing baby, but it’s raining and I’m going out after our little talk.”
“Of course you aren’t coming with me. Where would you get that silly idea?”
Her latest revelation, brought forth an immediate genuine attempt of protest from her husband, forcing her to initiate her own brand of HOM as practiced at home; similar to what Nanny had done to him on day one but less severe in that he could continue to breathe as his wife continued her monologue.
With some degree of silence established she continued, “Strangely enough I am rather surprised that you are still here. I would have bet the ranch that you would have been able to sweet talk your way out of this before month’s end.”
“Now, that is interesting!”
“Your daytime babysitters do not speak English.”
“Helga and Monique?”
“No, I haven’t officially met them yet, but I have been observing them from afar.”
“To make sure that you were being treated in a firm yet safe manner.”
“That being said, it was a little disconcerting when you first met Helga, and she immediately felt the necessity to strap you into that heavy rubber discipline helmet and leave it on for a full 24 hours. Language barrier or not, you must have really pissed her off? In spite of that, I did notice a marked improvement in your temperament upon its removal, relieving any initial concern that I may have had.”
“Likewise, your first encounter with Monique, nearly scared me half to death after she suddenly grabbed that dark brown leather riding crop, and began to administer a beating the likes of which I had never seen, stopping just short of my need to intervene. Explicable, as with Helga, your attitude greatly improved from that moment forward.”
“Sweetie, perhaps when we have more time, would you do me the favor of explaining your infantile need to test the patience of such intimidating looking women.” While adding, “Wouldn’t have anything to do with those long shiny brown rubber aprons, hugging those extremely tall zaftig bodies, would it?”
“I do digress.” She added matter-of-factly, while increasing the pressure against the pacifier.
“Right now, I have something more pressing to discuss.” As she cut to the chase.
“Nanny has offered me a great deal.”
“Sorry, but how long I intend to keep you here and its cost is quite frankly none of your damn business.” Further pointing out, “These are adult matters no longer requiring your infantile involvement.”
“Ultimately, when you come right down to it, the forced compliance of your elaborate fantasy is something you have always wanted. And now I have my first real opportunity to make it happen for us.”
“Yes, for us.”
“Now, is there anything else, before I leave?” she casually asked, while removing her hand from atop the pacifier, allowing him to turn his head for one final peek at his favorite shiny black vinyl raincoat.
Reading him like an open book as he pleaded with his eyes, “Honey, of course I remember one of your kinkier fantasies.”
While casually adding, “It’s the least I can do under the circumstances.”
At which point she quickly grabbed the black vinyl raincoat and pressed it firmly over his nose and pacified mouth, casually watching to the point of indifference as the second hand reached the one minute mark on her wrist-watch, while he squirmed and thrashed about for air, only to breathe in the smell of more vinyl.
Although the potential for asphyxiation was nowhere in sight, she nevertheless loosened the pressure and lifted the raincoat off his sweaty face as the two minute mark came and went.
As he attempted to catch his breath, she nonchalantly put on the infamous raincoat and quietly slipped out of the room, leaving him with the faint smell of rustling plastic as his only companion for this night and many more to come.
Whereas her newest companion would be waiting for her at the restaurant.
Author’s Note: The Opportunity, from Alfred Hitchcock Presents in 1962, was based on a short story by J.W. Aaron titled The Golden Opportunity
The Opportunity inspired my diabolic ending. For me, the best of its kind on prime time television.
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