There are times when I get so frustrated in trying to find suitable partners. You read the profiles, send the emails, you build a sense of expectation, you build a mental picture of what could happen, then, long pause, absolutely nothing. You take a chance with profiles that have no photographs. No replies and so the weeks go on. A few responses but nothing happens. Just hours and hours sat at a computer with nothing to show for it.
Then I saw the profile of a lady who lives in Seattle and travels from time to time to London on business. She had looked at my profile but had not got in touch. Slim, ravishly good looking, the perfect figure, long brown hair & dark eyes, and a beaming smile. Every man’s erotic dream and more. I had nothing to lose.
I looked at her profile which said little. I emailed some short lines, and, well, a few very brief emails later, we agreed to meet up & have dinner at her hotel. I knew instinctively from the outset from the tone & pattern of her text that we would get on. She was serious, businesslike & quick to reply.
I was on time in the hotel & positioned myself in the bar so that I would be able to see her arrive at the door. Always a few nervous moments when you meet someone for the first time, but instantly I recognized her and my immediate thought was that her photograph did not do her justice. She was just stunning in jeans, tight blouse and outdoor jacket.
A few drinks and then a meal. Into the restaurant, in the very middle, surrounded by other ( mostly older) couples enjoying their evening. The menfolk on close tables cast their eyes over us; I could not believe how fantastic I felt knowing what they were thinking; I was spending my evening with this gorgeous woman and they were not. She was mine, all mine, AND furthermore the onlookers had no idea of what might transpire between us.
I always think that to have a one off meal with a beautiful woman is just fine & anything else that follows is just a bonus. We ate, chatted and then we ordered coffee. I did not expect for her to agree to see me again, but we talked and she did agree. We settled on me picking her up the following evening for some very serious play.
It was a very cold star lit dark evening as I waited for her nervously outside her hotel. A short drive and there we were standing in the hallway of my dockside apartment overlooking the Thames. I offered to take her coat and then she was revealed in her full glory. Figure hugging leather trousers, black boots, a tight fitting shiny black finely patterned corset and around her neck a small black metal collar. I offered a meal but jointly decided that this would wait; a quick tour of my apartment so that she could get her bearings and so that she was comfortable with her surroundings.
She instructed me to take off her clothing but strangely my instinct was for her to leave them on; she was too perfect as she was; she stood there in the half light with her arms outstretched, her long hair hanging down her back. I have never seen such a sight before, just complete and absolute female sexual and erotic perfection. With hesitation & great reluctance I fumbled with her corset and then removed her trousers and boots.
I find a massage is always a good way to break the ice and to interact with a partner. Back and front, gently rubbing her all over. As agreed I then started to restrain her; a large leather belt around her waist linked to cuffs around her wrists held her arms by her side. Cuffs around her ankles and a leather collar around her neck. Strapped tightly to the bed at the head and foot she was immobile. Complete with blindfold. In many ways this is always for me the best moment. Surrender. Loss of control. Helplessness. The point of no return.
I fondled, played & toyed with her; she requested pain on the nipples and I obliged; I rolled her over and stimulated her on and on. Her request for more pain and spanking was meet as best I could but despite my prolonged efforts our scene was evidently failing to deliver the stimulation she so clearly sought. A complete unexpected paradox – how could this possibly be true? She was totally submissive, completely unable to move & strapped on my bed. She did not really know where she was, in a foreign country & at the hands of a total stranger who she had just met the day before.
We had plenty of time, no pressure, we were all alone, we were comfortable together. She was beautiful, willing & completely at my disposal. I was doing everything possible to arouse her to orgasm, but nothing worked. We stopped & talked and thankfully laughed; it was clear that her pain threshold was far in excess of what I was deep down prepared to deliver to her in a suitable manner. I knew that she wanted more serious pain & discomfort delivered in a certain way but she was so beautiful and her body so tender; she was totally trusting of me; how could I possibly do anything more to severely hurt her? Its alright having safe words but they are not much good ‘after the event’ once very serious pain has been inflicted. We agreed finally that I was too much of a ‘nice guy’ to deliver what she was seeking.
With hindsight of course my best efforts to make her comfortable and at ease with her situation were the exact and total opposite of what turned her on. She wanted the unpredicted rough & painful treatment from the start. Furthermore I was just simply dumbstruck by the awesome reality of the bondage play situation that I had engineered. Never had I spent time alone with such an attractive seductive woman who was extremely sexually experienced in every possible way.
We lay there, talked and laughed; we resumed and she begged me for sex (which we had agreed on before we started) and which again did not go to plan; in short, my personal expectations of my dream scenario were very different from the reality of what lay before me. A willing bound, struggling, submissive woman, strapped, unable to move. Tight creaking leather straps about her limbs and neck, her corset & leather trousers laying on the floor. Me, excited, virile, athletic, single, with a complete and total consuming passion and lust for bdsm. I was living my finest and wildest dream, but totally unable to orgasm. It was just as well she was not paying me for my dom skills. The pressure was on me to perform as I was in full control not only of her mental state of mind but my confused feelings as well.
It got worse – I then had difficulty in maintaining an erection. I became confused with the overpowering and conflicting emotions connected with trying to administer pain and brutality to a beautiful & vulnerable female. I no longer became stimulated and aroused with my sadistic feelings . Instead I had increasing feelings of love, affection & care towards the vulnerable woman that lay on my bed. Not really what she had in mind at all.
Finally and with much noise she did orgasm ( luckily !) with me holding her from behind. I released her & we lay together in each others arms chatting for the remainder of the evening. I had previously agreed to take her back to her hotel for midnight which I duly did. We kissed, held hands & I squeezed her leather covered thigh for the last time; with great sadness I watched her walk into the reception area of the hotel from my car. We agreed to meet again when she came back to London.
For me the evening illustrated the gulf between the reality of true life and our imagined preconceptions; the real sensations of touching and caressing a female body, being attracted to someone, and fetish stimulations - these all play a part in our mental state from minute to minute.
What have I learnt ? Especially for a first meeting prior communication is everything in establishing what is expected and added to that most of us do not vocalize what we actually are looking for. To communicate by email is often a lot easier than saying something face to face. Secondly when I dominate someone next, sure, I will deliver what ever they want ( mostly) as severely as they want but I will also indulge myself more by, for example, having a beautiful leather clad corseted American submissive woman parade in front of me suitably gagged /hooded and bondaged for a period because that’s what excites me personally and not necessarily what she expected or wanted.
Never never worry about trying something new on a submissive ( unless they have specifically ruled it out).
Lastly women are different – most enjoy stimulation of the clitoris & some don’t. That being the case always have a dildo to hand or other options available….
Our next meeting will be totally different affair. Generally I learn quickly.
12.02.08