Do you ever get the feeling that your life is a waste? That everything you do is nothing more then a time killer?
That was my life. If one seeks to find personal enlightment and fulfillment, then having a desk job will most likely not get you there. Day in, day out, doing endless paperwork and forms. Taking coffee breaks. Eating doughnuts in the staff lounge. Five days a week, four weeks a month, twelve months a year. It just didn't end. As one can imagine, I was desperate for something different. Something new, something exciting. So, one day while at my desk, I asked God for help. "God." I thought. "Can you help me get out of this mess? I want something new, something fulfilling"
There was a cheery "ding" as my e-mail received a new letter. "Wow, that was fast." I thought. Maybe God does answer prayers after all. A few quick clicks and I found myself looking at a new e-mail that read "Want a new job Miss. Gellman? I have one for you." The sender was simply "Job." Aside from my wondering how this, "Job" knew my name, my reaction was to open the e-mail and take a look. The only words inside were a simple invitation to a local restaurant tomorrow night at eight. It said to look for a man in a plaid shirt. It all seemed to be too good to be true. But then again, here was an opportunity to get away from this mind-numbing paperwork. So, like any desperate person, I decided to go.
I suppose I should introduce myself before I go any further. The name's Jan Gellman. Every story that has a happy ending needs a bad beginning. Before the protagonist knows love and acceptance, he or she needs to know pain and rejection. Have you ever wondered what can kill a person? Bullets can, sharp pointy objects can, but can love kill someone? Or rather, can lack of love kill someone? I found out not too long ago that the answer to that question was yes.
Ever since my parents had abandoned me when I was an infant, I had been bouncing back and forth between foster homes and orphanages, always hoping for the day when a family would take me in and love me. The years dragged on. The family never came. Yet, I always kept hope that someday, I would find a family that would love me. "God" I asked. "Please guide me towards a loving family."
Now, at the age of twenty one, I hadn't had much luck. When I turned eighteen the government helped me find a job as a secretary at a paperclip company. My job? Do paperwork, answer the phone, greet clients and visitors. Three years of this had turned my brain to mush and my enthusiasm to nil. Somehow I managed to scrape by. But the costs of living left nothing leftover for fun. So my life had been pretty messed up by then.
Anyway, back to the story.
The following night I did my best to dress up and look pretty. Whoever this "Job" guy was certain to be some hotshot from a neighboring company. Maybe it was the utensil company down the street. As I picked up my purse, my enthusiasm sagged ever so slightly. What a great change that would be. Switching from a paper clip company to a utensil one. Yippee. Still, it would be a change. I showed up precisely at eight, standing outside the Italian restaurant. And though people went in and out, there was no sign of a guy in a plaid shirt. The minutes ticked by. Nobody showed up who fit the description.
At an hour past eight, I was ready to give up and go home. Looked like "Job" wasn't coming. As I turned to head towards the car, a guy came out of the front doors. "Excuse me," he said. "But are you by any chance Miss. Gellman? There's a man inside who's been waiting for you."
"Really?" I asked, my cheeks starting to blush. "Did he say what his name was?"
"Yes. A Mr. Job. Does that sound familiar to you?"
"Why yes, that's him."
"Ah, okay. Follow me please." Following him inside the restaurant I cursed myself silently. How stupid could I be not to actually go inside and look for the guy? I had probably screwed the whole thing up already.
"Here she is Sir." The employee had lead us to a booth near the back of the restaurant. In the booth was Job. He was certainly different then who I expected him to be. He was wearing a plaid shirt all right. Green with yellow stripes. He had long hair, beard and moustache. And those glasses… oh my God those glasses were hideous. Large 70's style disco glasses. Job obviously had some… interesting tastes.
But when he looked at me, his smile was warm and friendly. "Well hello there!" He said, his voice slightly high in pitch and squeaky. "I'm Job! You're Miss. Gellman I assume?"
I nodded. "That's right." He smiled again and motioned for me to sit down across from him.
"Well come on! You going to stand there all night or am I going to have to tie you down to the seat?" I sat down, not quite sure what to think of this guy. He seemed to be a goofy man who liked to joke.
"Are the two of you ready to order?"
"Yes, I'll have the spaghetti and meatballs if you don't mind. How about you Miss. Gellman?"
"Oh, I'll have… uh… the same." The waiter smiled and walked away.
"Oh look!" Job said, pointing out the window. Snow was starting to fall. "I always loved snow! So white and clean! Do you like snow Miss. Gellman? Back when I lived in Switzerland we got snow so often it made me think Santa Claus lived down the street."
"Really?" I asked. "You're from Switzerland ?"
"Oh yes. I wanted to live in the snow, but where the taxes weren't so high. Here in this state we have such lovely snow, don't you think?"
"Well, yes." I coughed, trying to figure out what to say next. "Mr. Job, how did you get my name and e-mail address?" He smiled.
"Oh, I have my ways Miss. Gellman. Because I own the company you work for, I get a lot of time to observe my employees. They all seem pretty average, but you… you're special. I watch you a lot. I can tell you're bored with your desk job, is that right?"
I nodded. "Well, I have a new job ready for you if you want it. If you decide to take it, you can gain a lifetime of enjoyment and pleasure, a lifetime of never having to worry about paying bills or wondering how you're going to live from paycheck to paycheck."
I leaned forward, definitely interested in what he was saying.
"This job is a lifetime one," he continued.
"I currently have three other employees working for me, and they
are never leaving." He
noticed my look of surprise. "Oh
no, it's not that. It's just that
they like their job so much. I ask
them every month if they want to keep going and the answer is always
I thought about this for a few minutes. "Well, this certainly sounds intriguing. What exactly is this job?"
Job blushed. "Well… it's not an ordinary one, that's for certain." He glanced out the window at the falling snow. "Tell me Miss. Gellman, are you into bondage?"
His question caught me completely by surprise. I looked at him, not really getting what he had said. "I won't be surprised if you think I'm a freak." He said. "Not many people like it when I ask if they are a fan of bondage. But that's what this job involves, a lot of bondage."
At that the waiter came with our plates of spaghetti. "Oh goody!" Job said. "I just love spaghetti, don't you? Reminds me of my mom's cooking." He launched into his food, happily eating at his pasta. I went through mine more slowly, taking my time.
After a few minutes he noticed how I was eating slowly. "Tell you what." He said. "Why don't you come out to my place for the weekend and see what the job is? You can see it for yourself! Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Well, I wasn't doing anything. So I nodded. "Excellent!" Job said. From the looks of him, you could get the impression that he was a kid who had just walked into a candy store. "How about I come get you on Saturday morning? Meet me outside the office and I'll drive you to my place."
I nodded again and resumed eating. Soon the dinner ended, we shook hands and left the restaurant.
As I drove through the snow towards my apartment, my mind was racing. Bondage? What kind of job involved bondage? Though I had only been doing a desk job, I knew what bondage was. After all, the internet was very useful in looking up things during one's off time. I knew about bondage and what it was. Though I did find an appeal in it, I still couldn't find out why guys (and some gals) enjoyed watching people being tied, or being tied up themselves. I had never tired bondage before. I didn't have the time or the money. But… there was an excitement growing in me. I was very curious to see what this job was that involved bondage.
I didn't have to wait long to find out. Saturday rolled around soon enough, and I was outside the office, waiting for Job to show up. He showed up on time, driving a large van (complete with black tinted windows). His goofy grin and hideous glasses said hello when I got into the car. He drove for almost six hours, heading away from the city and out into the mountains. It was quiet as we drove, save for the radio playing soft jazz tunes. Snow fell softly outside the windows.
"Tell me Mr. Job" I asked, deciding to break the silence. "Are you married?"
"Oh yes! I'm married to a wonderful woman, and we have three daughters."
Daughters? "Do they know about the bondage?" He grinned.
"Oh yes, and they love it!" I kept quiet, not really feeling like talking anymore. We went up into the mountains, through the snow filled forest, heading farther and farther away from civilization.
"How much further?"
"Oh, another twenty minutes or so." Looking out the window, I saw smoke rising from a ridge. Exactly twenty minutes later we went around the ridge and into a small parking lot. "Here we are!" Job said. Getting out of the car, I saw our destination.
It was a large house, built completely out of logs. Nestled up to the large mountain and surrounded by snow and trees, it looked like the ultimate log cabin. The windows were covered in curtains, but a soft light glowed from behind them.
"Do you like it?"
Job asked as he walked up next to me.
"It's my luxury house. It
also doubles as a hostel for those who like to stay out here."
He shivered, rubbing his arms. "Why
don't we go inside? I'm sure we'll
be a lot warmer!"
He led the way up the snowy path to the heavy log door. He grunted slightly as he unlocked it and swung it open. We both hurried inside.
It was warm in here, no doubt about that. There was a large fireplace in the waiting room, complete with glowing bonfire. I must say that I was impressed with the place. The log cabin had a snug, homely feel. "Honey!" Job called out, "Daughters! I'm home!"
A woman walked into the waiting room, wearing another set of oversized glasses. "Hello Oslo !" She said, walking up to my companion and giving him a big hug.
" Oslo ?" I asked.
"That's my real name." Job said. "Job is just a codename I use. Inga, I'd like you to meet Jan Gellman. She's going to be staying with us here for the weekend." Inga came over to me and gave me a giant bear hug.
"Well, hello there Jan!" She said as she squeezed me. "My Oslo offered you the job didn't he?"
"Uh, yes he did." She smiled.
"Ah, and you are here to see what your work environment is going to be like, correct? I hope you like it here. I can tell that you'd be a wonderful addition to our crew here!" She looked around. "Speaking of crew, where is she? Julia!"
What happened next both startled and intrigued me. A woman walked into the room, wearing nothing more then a pair of handcuffs and leg irons connected by a long chain, a pair of black leather jeans and a large collar around her neck. "Yes mother?" She asked.
"Julia, would be kind to bring our guest some clothes? I'm sure she must be dreadfully cold after that drive."
The woman smiled warmly. "Of course!" She walked out of the room, her chains clinking. I stared at Inga.
"That… she's your daughter?!" Inga saw my confusion and fear.
"Oh, don't worry about that my dear." She said. "She's not our biological daughter. We didn't even adopt her. Mother and daughter are just terms were use around here."
"You mean… you don't have any real daughters?"
"No, we don't." Oslo said. "We were never able to have children of our own." He sighed. "There is a lot we have to tell you Jan. But after Julia shows you to your room." Julia came back into the room, carrying a large coat.
"Here you go." She said, offering to me as best she could with her hands cuffed.
"Oh, uh… thank you."
I took the coat and put it on, glad to be a little warmer.
"Julia?" Oslo said. "Could you please show Jan to the guest room? She'll be staying with us over the weekend."
"Of course father." Julia said. "Do you have any baggage?" She asked me.
"Uh… no, I don't."
"Oh. Okay. Come with me!" With that she started to walk up the oak stairs, me following close behind. On the upper floor she led me down a long, candle-lit hallway until we reached a closed door. Pulling out a key from her pants, Julia unlocked it. "Here we are!"
We went into the room. It was fairly small, with a large four poster bed, a few cabinets and a medium sized window. Snow was falling heavily outside. "This is where you'll be staying." Julia said. "Is it okay with you?"
"Well…" I had to admit, the place was nice. "Yes. But… I have to ask you, why are you…"
She smiled. "You're probably wondering why I'm cuffed and why I call Mr. and Miss. Sven mother and father, right?"
"Yes, that's it."
Julia smiled. "Oh boy, where to start? Well, it all started five years ago. Why don't you sit down? This might take a while." I sat down on the bed while Julia eased herself onto a chair.
"Five years ago I was working for Mr. Sven's company, working as a secretary. It was incredibly boring work, so you can imagine my excitement when Oslo offered me a new job. As you can imagine, that got me quite excited." She smiled. "So I came out here, and now I work for him, keeping this house tidy and clean."
"But… why are you cuffed like that?"
She said, looking at the restraints on her wrists and ankles.
"Well, the Sven's are quite kinky.
paid me to wear these cuffs twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Eventually I liked wearing them so much I haven't taken them off.
The last time I did was four years ago.
They've been locked on ever since."
"Four years?!" I gasped. "But… how do you live like that? Chained up and all?"
"Oh, you don't wear much clothes for a starter." She said. "These pants? They are zipped up from the back." She stood up and turned around, revealing that the pant legs were zipped up from behind. "Besides, being naked is oh so much fun!"
She paused for a moment. "Anyway, after a while Mr. and Mrs. Sven got very affectionate towards me, and I to them. We all liked this arrangement so much that they practically adopted me. That's why I call them mother and father, and they call me daughter."
"So you live here?"
"Oh yes. I don't spend all my time in the house though. We go out to see movies, get groceries, go shopping, etc. I don't spend all my time chained in the house!"
"But… what do other people think?"
"Oh, they got used to the sight after a while. They really don't pay any attention to it anymore. They just let it slide."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was all so… strange. "But what if you want to leave?"
"Oh, I can do that if I want to. But I don't. I'm having too much fun!" She yawned and tried to stretch her arms apart, only to have the cuffs clink and hold them in place. "Oh yeah." She yawned. "That's one thing you never get over is trying to stretch while cuffed."
I shook my head. This was one odd house. "Do you want to meet the others?" Julia asked.
"Yes, others. There are two others here in the house, all full time bondage wearers like I am. All of us wear bondage twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'm the youngest in terms of years. Doreen and Liz have a lot more under their belt. Would you like to meet them?"
More? This was getting more and more interesting by the minute. "Sure, why not?"
"Excellent! We'll start with Liz." With that, my shackled guide got up and walked down the hall to another door. She knocked. "Liz? Can I come in? I've got a guest with me!"
"Come on in!" Julia opened the door and we went inside. This room was much like mine, except that there was already someone in it. She was roughly thirty by my first guess. She too, was cuffed, except that her arms were behind her. She was buck naked, save for a leather body harness. Like Julia, she wore a thick and black leather collar around her neck. The lady was sitting on her bed, turning the pages of a book with her toes (her ankles were shackled as well).
The lady looked up at me. "Oh hello!" She said. "Are you visiting us for the weekend?"
"Yes, I am. Mr. Sven invited me over." She laughed.
"Ah yes, I remember when he invited me over ten years ago. Trust me, what you see is what you get, if you decide to take the job! Oh, where are my manners? The name's Liz. I see you've met my sister Julia already."
"Is she your…"
"No, we're not related, save the bonds of love and of bondage!" She laughed, then glanced at the clock. "Oh dear, I've got to go start practicing my act in a few minutes." Liz placed a bookmark in her book, closed it, then put it on the bookcase next to the bed. All while using only her feet.
"Do you not use your hands anymore?" I asked. Liz glanced over her shoulders.
"My hands? I stopped using them ten years ago. They've been locked in these cuffs the entire time. And trust me kiddo, when your hands are cuffed behind you for ten years, you get pretty good at living without them."
She hopped off the bed and started walking out the door. "Sorry to leave you so soon," she said. "But duty calls!" With that, she walked out of the room. I turned to Julia.
"Has she really been wearing cuffs that long?!"
"Oh yes. And she's quite proud of it as well."
"But how? How can she stand to wear them like that for so long?"
"Well, Mr. and Miss. Sven clean us up very well in the shower. You don't need to get out of cuffs to be washed. Mr. and Miss. Sven take good care of us in almost every way you can think of. We just don't really need to be free that much anymore." I looked at her, mind racing. But she managed to catch what I was thinking.
"Are you thinking we're here against our will?" She asked cheerfully. "No, no, it's not like that. We all enjoy our bondage here. We can leave anytime we want. It's just that we don't have to worry about bills or food here. We have all of our needs taken care of, and we enjoy helping people out here."
"Really? What do you do?"
"This is a hostel. When people come over and stay, we help keep things running smoothly. And besides," she blushed. "We like all the attention we get. And you wouldn't believe how much affection and care Mr. and Miss. Sven are capable of giving out." She looked down the hallway. "You want to meet Doreen? If you think I'm interesting, then you'll love her!"
More interesting then these two? Now I just had to see this Doreen. "Lead the way!"
Julia led me down the hallway to yet another room. "Don't be surprised when you meet Doreen." She said. "She's been in bondage for a long time. Much longer then I have."
"I have a question." I asked. "You say that you all have jobs here, correct?"
"That is correct."
"Then what is Liz's job?"
"Liz is an entertainer for guests. She knows hundreds of jokes and songs. She is quite popular."
"And what does Doreen do?" Julia smiled.
"Doreen is the cuddler. She gets hugged a lot, because she wanted to be a pillow when she began her life here. She didn't get affection from her family, so she gets it now by being a pillow."
We reached another oak door. Julia pressed a buzzer, then waited. "Doreen can't speak, so she uses a buzzer." There was a loud buzz, and Julia opened the door. Like the rooms before it, this one was relatively small and simple. There was a large four poster bed, a window showing the snow outside, and a few candles lighting up the room.
There was a woman sitting on the bed. Like the two before her, she was naked and wearing restraints. Heavy manacles around the ankles and wrists, and a thick collar around the neck.
What distinguished this lady from the others was the fact that she was wearing a very large and very thick gag around her mouth. I was a bit surprised seeing something that big. Her shiny black leather gag covered her entire mouth up to her nose. Though I had never worn a gag before, and never had an interest in doing so, I suddenly found myself wanting a gag like that.
"Jan, I want you to meet Doreen." Julia said. "Doreen, this is Jan. She's visiting us for the weekend." Doreen raised her hands and waved.
"Let me guess…" I said. "She doesn't speak."
Julia smiled. "You’re correct."
"And let me guess… she hasn't spoken in
several years, correct?" Julia
"I think you're getting a good idea of what happens here! Yes, she hasn't spoken in twenty years. She's been wearing that gag almost continuously since she first got it."
After meeting Julia and Liz, this didn't surprise me. Rather, it intrigued me.
"What's it like wearing a gag for twenty years?" I asked. Doreen raised her hands and began to move them in sign language.
"She says that it is a very interesting experience. She enjoys the quiet she gets, and enjoys being able to listen more then speaking. The silence of the world is very soothing to the soul, she says."
"Is she by any chance a philosopher?" Doreen closed her eyes and her head shook up and down slightly as she continued to sign.
"She laughs at the question and thanks you for asking it. But yes, she is a philosopher. She says that being forced into silence gives her much time to think." More signals. "Ahh," Julia said. "She's asking if you want to hug her. She says that a hug is often the most powerful spiritual tool one can use."
I shrugged. "Why not?" Doreen moved her hands again.
"She requests that you please roll her up in blankets. She says that she finds being wrapped up while being hugged to be quite soothing and comforting. It gives her the feeling of being embraced by loved ones that she never got in childhood."
I smiled. "Sounds like she has been philosophising for a long time!" Secretly, I was all too happy to grant her request. Taking the thick blankets on the bed, I wound them around Doreen's naked form. She didn't resist in the slightest, but rather allowed me to continue. When she was nicely rolled up in a tight little bundle, she slowly lay back on the bed. I followed her onto the bed. She looked at me with inviting eyes, inviting me to take her in my arms and hold her. Despite her inviting offer, I hesitated ever so slightly. This was the first time I had ever done something like this before. Yet… it felt so natural. After all, is the exchange of affection not one of our most primal urges?
So I followed what felt natural and hugged her. It was a passionate hug. Both of us were lying down on the bed. Doreen in chains and wrapped up in blankets. Me with my arms around her upper body, and my legs wrapping themselves around hers. I squeezed her and held her warm body close to mine, our eyes closing in pleasure at the powerful feeling of touch. I opened my eyes briefly to look at her. Though it was impossible to tell, I got the feeling that underneath that gag of hers, she was smiling.
Have you ever noticed that when you are sharing affection, whether it's by cuddling, kissing, hugging, making love, or simply holding someone, that time seems to slow down? That it seems to stop? Such was the case with me. I had no idea how long I held Doreen in my arms. It was silly really. I hadn't known this woman for more then ten minutes, yet here I was holding and embracing her with her permission. Heck, she had asked for it in the first place. It all just felt so… natural… so… right. And above all, it felt… loving.
"Maybe this is what God feels like all the time." I thought. "Hugging people like this."
After a while I opened my eyes and looked at Doreen. Her eyes were still closed, but I could sense that she was still awake. Looking around, I saw that Julia had quietly left and closed the door, no doubt to give us some privacy.
So I continued doing what felt natural. I lay there with my new friend and cuddled her. After a few minutes I got cold, so I pulled the bed comforter over both of us. Clutching the woman to me, I lay my head on a pillow and got comfortable. The snow continued to fall outside. Doreen's eyes remained closed.
But I knew she was happy. And I knew that I felt wonderful. So I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She wiggled ever so slightly under my hold.
Apparently the relaxation overwhelmed me, because the next thing I knew, I opened my eyes to find the room much darker and the candles much shorter. Doreen was still in my arms under the comforter. Judging by her breathing, she was asleep. And I realized that I too, had fallen asleep. But for how long? It was still light outside, but it was also much darker.
Something made Doreen wake up at that point. Her eyes blinked open, she looked around sleepily, and then saw me. I smiled and kissed her again. And again, she wiggled under my hold.
Sensing that the time was right, I gently let her go. Moving efficiently, she undid the blankets that were wrapped around her and got out from under the comforter. Gently taking my hand, she pulled me gently towards the door. Glancing up at the fireplace, I saw a clock that read seven. Apparently, it was time for dinner.
Doreen led me into the hallway and down the stairs. The dinner table was there, filled with plates of gorgeous looking food. Mrs. Sven was putting some mashed potatoes on the table when she saw me.
"Ah Jan!" She said happily. "We were beginning to wonder when you would come down!"
"Sorry about that." I said. "I guess I dozed off for a while." Doreen raised her cuffed hands and signaled something to Mrs. Sven.
"Ah, so you did fall asleep! Doreen here says that you are a very good hugger, even when you are asleep."
"She was awake?"
"Oh yes, she was. She enjoyed every second of being hugged by you. She compliments you on how you squeeze ever so snugly, and how you envelop others in your arms. She thinks you would have a very easy time dating someone if you hugged them like you did to her."
I blushed. "Really? Aw shucks…"
Soon enough, dinner started. We all sat down at the table (chains and restraints included), pulled our chairs up, and looked ready to eat. But Before I could bite into that lovely piece of chicken, Julia bowed her head revently and gave thanks to God for the food that we were about to enjoy. When she finished, there was a quiet "Amen" around the table (except from Doreen, who simply nodded her head reverently).
"Wow." I thought. "They really like bondage, yet they are also spiritual. I think I'm starting to really like them."
As the food was passed around, Mr. Sven looked at me curiously. "So Julia," he said. "What are your first impressions of us? Be truthful now, I want to know what you really think!"
Hmm…how was I going to answer him? Oh well, best to be upfront and honest. "I think you're one of the most interesting people I've ever met." Mr. Sven smiled.
"Ah, now that's good to hear! Would you like some mashed potatoes?"
As I munched on the light and flaky stuff, I watched as Mrs. Sven slowly undid Doreen's gag. When it was off enough, she gently placed a small O ring gag into the woman's mouth.
"Wait a minute Julia," I said. "I thought Doreen almost never took her gag off."
"That’s correct." Julia said as she ate a piece of chicken. "But even she has to eat. She usually eats only once a day at dinner time. And even then she doesn't talk. Isn't that right Doreen?" Doreen nodded and spooned some mashed potatoes into her forced open mouth.
"Furthermore, Doreen has indicated that if she ever does speak, she'll wear that gag for five days straight and get fed through a feeding tube in the neck."
"Aw dangit." Liz said. "I got some gravy on my chain." She picked up a napkin and wiped down the shiny chain that connected her wrist and ankle cuffs. "It's always a pain to clean these things." She muttered.
It was by all means an ordinary dinner, except for the fact that three of us were chained (and one gagged). An ordinary family dinner, shared by people who cared about each other. Except that some members of that family were in bondage.
After dinner was over, Doreen had her gag put back into place (much to her relief), and had it inflated to a comfortable tightness. Julia did the dishes, much faster and more efficiently then one would think considering her hands were cuffed.
With the dishes done, it was time to relax. Mr. and Mrs. Sven invited me to sit with them at the warm fireplace. I gladly accepted, as did the other women. We all sat on the thick carpet in front of the roaring fire, enjoying its warmth.
It was a scene out of a fairytale. Snow falling outside in the night, the six of us inside and relaxing in front of a warm fire. Mr. and Mrs. Sven took the restrained women in their arms and held them close, like parents cuddling with their children. It was very touching to watch. The three bound and restrained women, snuggling up to the couple. All of them relaxing in each other's bodies.
I sat next to them all, enjoying the warmth of the fire. And I thought. I thought long and hard. My current life? Working at a desk job that barely paid the bills. Little time to enjoy myself. I was alone.
And these people? They had each other. They shared and enjoyed themselves and each other. They had a place where they lived and worked in a satisfying job. But above all, they had love. They were a family.
Which life was better? Which life offered more satisfaction? Which one was more appealing? The questions went through my head, ringing in my ears. The life these people had was something out of a fairytale. A life in bondage and love. It seemed too good to be true.
But then again…it could be happening. It was happening, right now. And I had the chance to join them.
What was I going to do? What in heaven's name was I going to do?
If you can guess what I said, I think you're getting the hang of this.
I slowly went over to Mr. Sven, who was holding Doreen in his left arm. He was lying on the soft carpet, looking at the fire. But his eyes went to me when I came over to him.
"Jan, Jan, come! Lie down and enjoy the fire!" I smiled and slowly lay down next to him on the carpet. I stretched, letting my bare feet get warmed by the fire. This felt…good.
"Mr. Sven, I've been thinking about your offer," I said. "And I think I've made my decision."
This got his attention.
He turned and looked at me with great interest.
I took a deep breath. "I accept your offer of employment here."
It was as if a large light bulb had been clicked on, for Mr. Sven's face lit up like the sun. "Oh Jan, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!" He stretched out his arm to me, offering it. It was only natural that I went to it. He curled it around me and drew me close to him.
The effect was intoxicating. Behind held by a man, being held close to him, bathing in his body warmth, his touch, his strength, was overpowering. It was a sensation that I had never, ever felt before. It was so….good.
I let out an involuntary sigh of relaxation as my muscles gave out beneath me. I completely relaxed and surrendered to Mr. Sven's gentle hold on me. And even as he held me, the others began to draw close to both of us. We were all merging together in a loving mass of warmth and acceptance.
The snow continued to fall outside. But inside, I was warmer then I could ever remember. What was going to happen next? I didn't care. All I wanted was to be part of that family, to be accepted and loved. They were giving that to me now.
The snow kept falling.
How does one go about the business of preparing for a new life, especially if it’s a life that will be spent in bondage?
With my decision to take the Job at Mr. Sven's hostel, there was a small meeting the following morning. Mr. and Mrs. Sven sat on a leather couch while I sat on a leather chair. Together we went over the details of my employment.
The issue that was stressed the most was the fact that I could leave anytime I wanted to. All I had to do was say (or indicate) so, and I would be released from my restraints and helped into a new life with a new job, house, and career.
"But that has never happened." Mr. Sven said cheerfully. "Nobody has wanted to leave yet. We are all having too much fun!" I cheerfully agreed with him on this manner.
The second item was that during my stay at the hostel, I would be kept in bondage twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That was what gave the hostel its charm and popularity. The fact that most of the staff was in bondage and willing to be cuddled and hugged.
What made it interesting was the fact that I would be choosing my bondage gear, not the Svens. "It's you who will be in bondage." They said. "Therefore, it's only fair that you are the one who chooses how you want to be tied up." The only real guidelines were that because of difficulty putting clothes on, I should be prepared to be mostly naked during my stay at the hotel.
After that came the schedule and my duties. I could choose to be a maid, an entertainer, or a cuddler. This was the only real difficult part. What to be? Being a maid didn't sound enterprising (Though the Svens told me that they got a lot of sex from particularly vivid guest fantasies), I wasn't good at entertaining either, So that left me with Cuddler. Yes…being a cuddler sounded good.
"But what about getting pregnant?" I asked. "Surely, that's a problem!"
"Oh no it's not." Mr. Sven said. "Our employees have a minor operation to ensure that pregnancy cannot happen."
"You mean we get our tubes tied?"
"Yes, that's what happens. If you don't want children, that could be a problem. But look at it this way. You can have sex willy nilly with no chance of getting pregnant." I had to admit, that was a hard offer to pass up. But I had no desire to ever have children (never could stand them anyway), so in the end, it wasn't a hard choice to make.
We also went over some benefits. There were outings to the mall, movie theaters, vacations if we wanted them, and free room and food. Business was good enough that a lot of money came in year round.
I was also briefed on procedure. Staff could only have sexual intercourse with guests if they gave the guests permission. Guests who tried to force staff into having non-consensual sex were kicked out and not allowed back for five years. "We take the issue of consent very seriously." Mr. Sven said.
“Mr. Sven what do you do about security? If the house has four tied up women in it and two middle aged people, how can you put up a fight against any intruders?” Mr. Sven smiled.
“A very valid question. My wife and I always carry firearms with us, in case something happens or in case some of the guests get too rowdy. We also have the entire house surrounded with security features and alarms. And there are also lots of panic buttons around the place, so we have many methods of letting the outside world know we’re here.”
I sighed. Hearing about all that security did ease some fears.
In the end, everything seemed perfectly reasonable. We decided that I would go back to town, sell everything I owned and have the surgery to have my tubes tied (The Svens would pay for that).
The most interesting part of the agreement was that I would buy my own bondage gear from the Sven's favorite online store, a place called Sax Leather. "They make great gear!" Mr. Sven said. "Don’t they honey?" Mrs. Sven giggled.
With all the arrangements made, all that was left to do was to go into town and set the plan in motion. Bidding farewell to my new friends was a bit hard, but all of us knew that it was only a temporary farewell. We would all be back together soon enough.
As Mr. Sven drove me back to town, my mind raced. This was so exciting! A new life here at this wonderful place with these wonderful people.
Yet…something was nagging at me. It was the fear that I might be going in over my head. It was a very small, almost undetectable feeling. Yet, it was there.
Shaking my head, I brushed it aside and focused on the snow coming down from the sky.
I admit that selling the apartment was the easiest part, as was quitting my job. Because Mr. Sven owned the company, it made the process much easier.
But selling all my stuff was a bit trickier. This was the stuff I had acquired during my lifetime, and here I was, selling and giving it all away. It’s hard to do something like that. It was like slicing off a piece of myself.
But if I wanted to truly start a new life, I would have to start with a clean slate. No attachments to previous things.
The garage sales managed to sap up almost everything I owned. The rest went to local charities and donations. Sitting in my now empty apartment one night, I thumbed through the crisp bills. A total of one thousand dollars. All of it to use on my new life.
But what to buy? What was I going to buy with this? People just don’t get how tricky it is picking new gear that you are going to be wearing for the rest of your natural life. That’s a decision you don’t make in a few minutes.
So it eventually boiled down to making a comparative chart of what I wanted, complete with little marks on how much I would use it. Over the course of a week I looked at that chart over and over again, trying to decide what to get.
Eventually though, I managed to make some choices. Handcuffs and leg irons were an obvious choice, as no bondage enthusiast should be without them. At least, that was my reasoning. I also decided on a rather sexy looking leather bondage posture collar, complete with rings. To add on to that, there was a leather chain lead as well. No doubt it would be clipped to my collar.
A big, inflatable gag was on there too. After seeing Doreen wearing that sexy gag of hers, I wanted a gag of my own as well! The thought of sexy rubber filling my mouth and forcing me into silence made me more excited then I can ever remember.
But the item that most excited me was the hood. This was no ordinary hood. It was the hood to end all hoods. The slave hood. A full, body enclosing piece of gear. A zipper for the mouth, and a blindfold for the eyes. Smooth and supple black leather. Tight, form fitting construction. That was the one piece of gear I wanted to wear forever. And though it would no doubt be taken off occasionally to be washed and to have my hair cut, I would be wearing it for the rest of my life.
So, with the list in hand I went to the computer and typed in the address the Sven’s gave me. Sure enough, the big SAX logo came on and I entered the website.
Words fail me here. It
was very simple, going through the site and clicking on the items I wanted.
Yet the rush, the chill of excitement was almost overwhelming as I
clicked on those beautiful items, one by one.
And when I went to the checkout and clicked “Place your order”, a shiver went through me as I have never experienced before. I had just taken my first real steps into a life of bondage. Those items that were to be secured to my body were on the way. All I had to do was wait.
My wait did not last long. I was kept busy finishing everything up, tying up all the loose ends (such as declaring my complete unemployment to the government) and getting ready for my new life. Oh yes, and getting the tubes tied (that wasn't much fun).
During those nights, my mind kept racing over the details. Were these people trustworthy? My heart told me yes. Would I be happy with them? Searching my soul, I knew that I would be.
Philosophy was never my strong suit. Yet I found myself pondering exactly what I was doing. Was I insane for wanting to live a life in bondage gear, under the control of others? How many others had dared to attempt this? Yet…everyone had assured me that I could leave if I wanted to. Everything done at that house was done with care and love in mind.
At midnight two nights before I was supposed to leave with Mr. Sven, a thought entered my mind. Here I was, a free being with free will, willingly choosing to apply bondage and live out my life in them. I was surrendering to a life with people who cared for me, who would care for me the rest of my life. I knew that this was true, deep down in my heart.
I drifted off that night thinking about it. Willingly surrendering to loving people who would take care of me…
The gear arrived at the office the next morning. Mr. Sven called me and said that he had received it, and was taking the gear up to his place that day. He said that he would come and get me the following morning.
So this was it. My last day in this life. Tomorrow it would be off to a new life, a new way of living. Not unlike, I noticed, being born again, as religions say it.
What did I do that last day? Enjoy my clothes. From now on I would be naked 90% of the time. It would be interesting remembering the feel of clothes, considering that I would be buck naked from now on, save for my gear and the occasional pair of zip up pants.
My last dinner in this old life was a bowel of Japanese noodles. Nothing very exciting, but it was cheap and easy to prepare. I munched on the noodles, enjoying the flavor and wondering what I would be fed with my hosts. I suddenly found myself wondering if food had any taste when inserted intravenously. Did Doreen taste anything when she was wearing her gag?
“Oh well,” I thought. “I’ll find out for myself soon.”
Bedtime came soon after that. As I began to pull out my pajamas, the thought crossed my head. Why should I wear pajamas if I’m going to be naked for the rest of my life anyway? Why not get a head start?
That sounded good to me. The pajamas went back into the drawer, and the rest of my clothes came off. As I settled into bed, I noticed how good this felt, lying between the sheets. They felt so soft and comfy. “Wow.” I thought. “I never knew that being naked felt so good.”
Darkness replaced light, and I lay in bed. The clock slowly ticked, the hands continuing their never-ending march forward. Cars drove past the apartment block.
But sleep would not come.
And it was for one simple reason. One nagging thought that would not go away, that would not permit me to sleep.
What if I was wrong? What if I was making a mistake? What if, overwhelmed by my emotions, I was making a decision I would regret later? Was I going too fast? So many questions, so many thoughts running through my mind, all of them coming from the horrible thought that I could be wrong.
There comes a point in every person’s life when they really turn to God. My moment happened to be right now.
“God,” I whispered to the night, “Am I doing the right thing?” I waited, seeing if God would answer.
There were no words, no magical lights blaring out the answer. Instead, I just got the gut feeling that I should go ahead.
A little disappointing, but I suppose beggars shouldn’t be choosers. Before I could think any more about what I was getting into, sleep overtook me.
The day dawned overcast and cloudy. Snow gently fell outside the window of the apartment. I wasn’t there to see it though. I was across town at the office building, waiting for Mr. Sven to show up.
It’s amazing how when something finally arrives, you just can’t wait anymore. You have to go and meet it face to face. Such was the case with me. Before my alarm clock was even close to setting off, I was already unplugging it and walking across town towards the office.
I was under a doorway, so I didn’t have to worry about freezing to death. All I had to do was wait. I didn’t have to wait long.
Mr. Sven pulled up soon enough, a few hours before we had agreed to meet. He smiled upon seeing me. Getting out of the car, he jogged over to the doorway, his long ponytail flopping behind him.
“So, you came out early?” He joked. “That’s happened before. The interest always gets to people and they can’t stand it anymore. You ready to go?”
I nodded and smiled. “I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be!” Mr. Sven smiled and clapped his hands together.
“Now that’s what I like to hear! Come, I’m sure you want to get in the warm car, right?” With that, he led me over to his large van. It was indeed warm as I got in the passenger seat.
The van went through the town, heading for the long road that led to Mr. Sven’s snow packed house. I looked at the buildings, the restaurants, all the places where I had spent so many years of my life. Now they were behind me, nothing more then a distant memory from the past.
When we left the town and quietly drove down the road, I didn’t look back.
“Well, I figured you might be cold, so I brought along some warm soup.” Mr. Sven said as he pointed towards a mug in the cup holder.
“Oh, thank you!” I said as I took the cup and sipped it. Mmm…warm chicken soup.
“I always found that chicken soup was one of the best ways to warm up.” Mr. Sven commented on as he drove. “Much tastier and more satisfying then coffee ever was.”
“Mr. Sven?” I asked. “I’m curious about my new job. When exactly does it start?”
“In two days.” Mr. Sven replied. “First there’s the settling in, the applying of the bondage gear and getting used to it. Then after that, your job starts in earnest.” I smiled and took another sip of the soup.
We continued up into the snowy mountains for a few hours, continuing the trek to a new life. The snow fell harder and harder. But I must say, the tapestry it created was one of supreme beauty.
"Nervous?" Mr. Sven asked out of nowhere.
"Who me? Of course not! I'm not nervous!" Mr. Sven smiled.
"Don't worry about it." He said soothingly. "The other ladies had a period of doubt when they first started out. But they realized that they liked their situation and decided to stick on. And remember, you can always leave if you want to."
I smiled and nodded my head. I had been thinking that, but I was still working on it. We drove in silence for a few more hours. But I couldn’t take the silence. "You know…" I said.
"It's interesting, but…well…I'm beginning to fantasize about being your slave." This got his attention.
"Really?" He asked, with his eyes arched.
"Oh yes. I just keep having these fantasies that I'm you and your wife's slave now and forever. And what is really strange is that I find these fantasies so exciting and…how do I say it…delicious."
Mr. Sven smiled and kept on driving.
“Ah, here we are!” Mr. Sven said as he pulled up close to that beautiful two story wooden mansion. The lights were on and glowing, warm and inviting from out here in the snow. “You ready to go inside and start your new job?”
I looked at him and smiled, my confidence rising. “Yes sir.” I said. “I know I am.”
Unexpected Love: Part 3
Mrs. Sven must have sensed my interest in my bondage gear, because the big box was waiting in plain sight when I walked through the front door. To further torture me, Mrs. Sven had the beautiful leather leash dangling out of the box.
When I saw that beautiful leather dangling out from the box, any and all fear vanished from me. In its place were feelings of awe, excitement, and desire. That was my leash! That was going to be clipped to my collar and be used to lead me around!
It took all of my willpower not to rush forward, open the box, and apply all the gear on right then and there. Mrs. Sven smiled.
"Ah, I know what you are thinking!" She said cheerfully. "But not yet. First, we have to get you all settled in and ready to go. Did you bring anything with you?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
"Really? Not even some clothes?"
"Just the ones I'm wearing right now. And even then, I'm ready to undress permanently."
She smiled. "I like your spunk Jan. I think you'll fit in perfectly here." At that moment, Julia, Liz and Doreen walked in, still wearing their chains. "Oh hello children." Mrs. Sven said. "Our newest member is soon to join us. Won't you be good dears and help her get ready?"
The three grinned and smiled devilishly (at least, I think Doreen smiled and grinned devilishly).
A few minutes all four of us were in the upstairs bathroom. The soft overhead lights were on, illuminating us and the equipment that three of us wore (soon to become four).
By getting prepared, that meant shaving off all unwanted body hair, getting the skin ready, and generally applying makeup for bondage. The only thing I did was take off all my clothes, leaving me naked as a jaybird. Only a few weeks ago I would be mortified by the fact that I was naked. But I was with friends, so it softened the impact.
"Don't worry Jan." Julia said as she squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Just let us do all the work."
"That's right." Liz said. "You just stay still."
Doreen signalled with her hands. "What did she say?" I asked.
"She asks if you are excited to get into your gear."
"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"
The three smiled (at least, I think Doreen smiled. It was impossible to tell). "You're nervous, aren't you Jan?" Julia asked tenderly. I sighed. Best to tell the truth. I nodded my head.
"I was nervous too." Julia said. "I was wondering if I was crazy, insane, or both all the way up to when the restraints went on. But trust me Julia, if you like being among those who care about you, and you enjoy bondage, then you have nothing to worry about."
"Do you feel safe?" Liz asked. I nodded my head. "Okay…do you like this place?" Again, I nodded. Liz smiled. "Now, do you like bondage gear?" I couldn't help but smile as I nodded. Truth be told, I had become quite fascinated with bondage gear. "Well then," Liz said. "There's nothing to worry about!"
Doreen signalled again, while Julia translated. "She says that there really is nothing to worry about. You are safe with her, and with all of us."
I smiled. "Well then, I guess I do have nothing to worry about. So go to it!" The ladies were very experienced as they went to work.
Liz chatted with me casually as Julia and Doreen slowly shaved my pubic hair away. It was an odd sensation, but I focused on Liz as best I could, to take my focus away from the shavers that were going all over my skin.
It only took about fifteen minutes to shave off all my unwanted body hair, including the fuzz on my arms. The only hair left was my eyelashes and my long hair.
Next were some creams and ointments that were being spread onto my skin. If I didn't know better, I would think that I was at a luxury spa somewhere, getting the full star treatment. But this treatment was just as good as any spa.
For another hour or so I was attended and taken care of. Liz gave me several tips about my upcoming bondage.
"If your cuffs get a bit gunky, stick your hands in some warm water to warm the cuffs up. Don't worry about the feeling of them, because you'll get used to them after a while. It'll take a few days for the feeling to go away. Oh, and don't worry about your jaw. It'll adjust to being filled all the time. Isn't that right Doreen?" Doreen nodded her gagged face in agreement.
After almost two hours, I was finished. Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw myself as pretty and beautiful. Now, there was one more step. It was the only logical one.
It was time to be restrained.
The women gently took me outside the bathroom and slowly led me down the stairs. My heart was racing a mile a second. If I had been hooked up to a heart monitor, my lines would be the size of Mt. Everest .
Mr. and Mrs. Sven were waiting in the luxurious living room. My new gear lay on the floor in front of them. The whole thing had the air of a very important ceremony.
Julia, Doreen and Liz branched off, taking their positions around me. Mr. and Mrs. Sven stood in front of me. "Jan," Mr. Sven said. "You are about to embark on a new career and a new life. You will experience restraint in this new life, but you will find a freedom that few can dream off. Is it your choice to begin this new life and career?"
My answer was instant. Although I was not totally convinced, I no longer had any doubts. "Yes." Everyone smiled (at least, I think Doreen smiled).
"Then we shall put your restraints on you now." Mrs. Sven said. "Let's begin with your cuffs." Reaching onto the floor, she picked up the shiny silver cuffs that were mine. My own, my personal cuffs.
Walking forward, she kneeled in front of me. I looked down and watched Mrs. Sven carefully put the cuffs around my ankles. The feeling of cold steel embracing my ankles was new to me. It gave me shivers. When the cuffs began to click, I got Goosebumps of untold excitement.
"Maybe this isn't so bad after all…"
With a few more clicks, the cuffs were finished. Mrs. Sven stood up and I looked down. My ankles were now permanently locked into these cuffs. As long as I was to stay here of my own free will, these cuffs would never come off.
As I pondered my ankle cuffs, Mrs. Sven took my right wrist and stuck it out. With that, she gently placed one of the handcuffs on me. I had watched police cuff people before, but never in a million years did I expect to find myself being cuffed.
The cold steel embraced my flesh tenderly and with great care. The lock was clicked shut, locking it forever. Then, my left wrist was cuffed. Again, the steel was placed on me, and I felt freedom of movement being taken away as I was handcuffed.
My excitement began to grow.
"Hmm…now this is getting interesting."
With both my wrists and my ankles cuffed and locked in restraints, Mrs. Sven took a long piece of chain. Working quickly, she connected both the chains of my wrist and ankle cuffs together via the long chain. Now this was getting serious!
What was next? Mrs. Sven picked up that delicious looking leather bondage posture collar. Ah, what a fine choice. I was going to be collared like an animal.
And I was getting juicy just thinking about it.
To assist my employers, I stuck my head up as high as I could, exposing my neck. I was vulnerable and naked, but I trusted this couple.
"Why thank you Jan!" Mrs. Sven said as she put the collar on me. Again I shivered as I felt cool and welcoming leather embrace my neck. It seemed to hug me as the strap and buckle was applied. My eyes were closed the entire time, as I was relishing in this wonderful sensation of cool leather against my skin. It was a symbol of ownership really, and it felt so wonderfully intoxicating.
I was so involved in feeling this wonderful collar that I didn't even notice Mrs. Sven picking up my gag. I didn't even notice it until she quietly coughed. Opening my eyes I saw that wonderful piece of latex and leather, patiently waiting to be inserted into my mouth.
Eager to embrace it, I opened my mouth and waited. As Mrs. Sven moved the gag closer and closer to me, time seemed to slow.
I could see every seam and every tiny piece of latex and leather on my gag. I could see the light shining off it.
"This is for real!" I thought. "This thing is going to force me to stay silent. I'm not going to be able to speak with it in my mouth. Oh my God I'm going to have that thing in my mouth for life! Yet…why does that sound so damn sexy?! Come on lady, put it in! Hurry up!"
Mrs. Sven didn't hear my silent urges. But judging by her smile, she could clearly see my desires in my eyes.
So it was that she gently put it in my mouth. And I eagerly accepted my gag.
It went into my mouth, and Mrs. Sven buckled it down, making sure the straps were snug and tight, though not too tight. The device lay in my mouth, limp and uninflated. That didn't last however, for Mrs. Sven took the dangling pump and began to pump it. With each pump the latex bag in my mouth began to inflate.
"Oh my God oh my God oh my God!" I thought excitedly. "It's actually happening! I'm being gagged! I'm never going to speak again! I'm never going to talk to another being in words ever again! It's filling my mouth! I'm never going to speak! I'm….hmm?...hmm…hey, this tastes pretty good…"
After several pumps, there was now a large latex ball in my mouth. It was tight and full, though not so much that my mouth was sore. I knew that any attempts at speaking were going to be futile. Oh yes, I could mumble and murmur, but any coherent speech was now impossible. Too bad I hadn't chosen some nice last words.
But all that was over with. There was another toy that remained to be put on, and it was the thing I was looking forward to most.
She picked it up. There it was. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. That leather hood, complete with zippers for the mouth and a blindfold for the eyes. I was going to be wearing this beautiful device for the rest of my life. It would be on my head at all times, save for the times when it needed to be washed.
But standing there, chained and gagged as a prisoner, I saw the hood and I saw its glory. It's beautiful leather glory. And it was mine.
Mrs. Sven undid the zippers on the eyes and the mouth. Then it was time. The moment had come.
She held the hood above my head and slowly began to lower it. I stayed still, though I wanted to look up and see this glorious object coming down on me. But I had to be still. I didn't want to spoil this magical moment.
There was one awkward moment when Mrs. Sven took the pump and threaded it through the zipper mouth, but other then that, it came down onto my head beautifully.
It was a perfect fit. It fit the contours of my head perfectly in every way. Someone had hand-crafted this hood just for me, and it fit like a glove.
As Mrs. Sven laced the back of the hood, I noticed something strange. With the hood now on my head and gripping it, my field of vision was narrowed to the tiny eye slits that was built in. The blindfold was in Mrs. Sven’s hands, ready to go on.
For this was one thing that none of the other women have tried. I chose this hood because of its eye feature. After discussing it with Mr. and Mrs. Sven, I had decided to be blinded. With the chain lead, I would be led around. But for all purposes and effects, I would be completely blind.
But the time for that was not yet upon me. There was still the issue of the leather bondage chain lead. Mrs. Sven was prompt on that as well. She held it up for me to see in all its shiny glory. Then I felt some tugging at my collar, and I knew that it had been clipped on. Mrs. Sven let go, and I felt the chain dangling against my chest.
Words cannot describe the power of knowing that I was cuffed, gagged, collard and restrained. And now I had a leash, just like a dog.
All that was now left to do was cover up the eyeholes and blind me. I awaited this with quiet excitement. I was perfectly willing to go along with my blindness.
But little did I know that Mr. Sven had a little surprise in store for me.
Just before Mrs. Sven was about to start covering my eye holes, Mr. Sven walked forward. "Jan," He said. "When I was driving you up here, you talked about your fantasy of being a slave. Well, I want to let you know that you're going to be wearing this during your stay here."
He held up a leather collar. On it, inscribed in shiny metal, was the word, "SLAVE". Then he took the bracelet, opened it up completely, and with some difficult (It must have been tricky placing it above the rings) attached it to my neck collar. Although I could not see it, I knew that the word SLAVE was now inscribed on my collar, plain for all to see.
I could not hold it back. My passion and my feelings for this man overflowed. I reached forward and grabbed him as best I could with my hands cuffed. I grabbed him and squeezed as best I could. I wanted to tell him so much how grateful I was that he was fulfilling a secret fantasy of mine! How I wanted to tell him how grateful I was that he came into my life and gave me this new life.
But with the gag in my mouth, I was forced to remain silent. That was okay. There was no need for words in that moment as I hugged him. He smiled and stroked my leather covered head.
"I'm going to be with him." I thought. "I’m going to be with this man for the rest of my life. And I'm going to love it."
Then it was time. Mrs. Sven slowly came forward and separated us. It was only temporary, I knew. It was temporary because it was time to blind me.
The mouth was zipped up first. I must have looked very strange, having the long pump dangling out of a zipped up mouth.
And then she did my eyes. Reaching up, she gently took the blindfold, and pressed it to the mask. Little by little, my vision began to turn to darkness. Little by little, the light of the world was replaced by the light of darkness.
The last thing I saw was the very edge of the fireplace, its black bricks dancing gently in the light of the fire.
And then, just like that, it was finished. With a final click, the eyeholes were closed and sealed. I was now blinded.
I stood there in the darkness, waiting for my masters to lead me where they would. I would not resist. For I was a good slave. I would obey what my masters told me to do. I was theirs. And I was loving it.
So when my lead was taken and gently pulled, I followed obediently. I shuffled, trying to adjust to the cuffs and chains at my ankles. But I somehow managed.
"Better get used to it." I thought. "You're going to be doing this for the rest of your life. Scared yet?"
"No. Get this straight. I am not afraid of this. Now bugger off conscience."
I was slowly and gently led up the stairs, my chains clinking on the wood. At the top, I was lead left. "Ahh, they must be taking me to my room."
Indeed they were. For I was lead over to an object. Then several hands gently helped me down onto something soft and firm. I must have been lying on my new bed. The hands released me, but one remained, holding my right hand.
I waited. "We'll let you rest for a while." I heard Mrs. Sven say. "Then it'll be time for dinner." And with that, there was silence.
So there I was. I was now committed to my new life. Here I was, in a big house, cuffed, chained, gagged, collared and blinded. And don't forget that I was naked.
In the darkness, I was alone in my own little world. No light came in through my hood. My world was now one of night. Yet…I was not afraid. I knew that somebody was with me. Who? I didn't know.
I suddenly began to shiver. It was cold in the room, and I was cold. "How am I going to ask for a blanket?" I thought. As if someone could read my thoughts, a thick and warm comforter went over me. Someone gently tucked it around me, making sure I was nice and snug in my bed.
The hand that was holding mine squeezed gently, letting me know that I was not alone. That I was not going to be alone any longer.
I squeezed back.
Someone got onto the bed with me. They lay next to me, still holding my hand. The other arm went around me and gently squeezed. Someone held me close to them.
I was safe.
That evening I was lead downstairs for dinner. Because I needed to adjust to wearing a gag and a hood, I was fed dinner intravenously. The Svens did a very good job of sticking the needle into me because I didn't feel it. I did however, experience a pleasant feeling as my stomach was filled.
Even as I was being fed, the others kept talking, and kept including me in their conversation, often asking me simple yes or no questions. All I had to do was shake or nod my head for the answer.
This dinner was different from the last one. I was now one of the restrained. I was now one of those who were cuffed, gagged, and collared. And I loved it.
For this bondage felt so good, so right on me that I had fallen in love with it. I was not afraid of my dark world, for I had friends with me. I was not alone, nor would I be alone again.
Something was happening.
That evening, in front of the fireplace, I became a member of the family.
For that was when Mr. and Mrs. Sven told me that I was now officially an adopted daughter. I was now a member of the family, one with a mother, a father, and with siblings. We were all a part of the same group.
And as I lay there, entwined in my adoptive mother and father, I felt my siblings coming and holding me. I felt their touch as they stroked me and I felt their cheeks as they kissed me, making me feel welcome. We were all curled up into a mass of warm bodies. We were all connected by love.
And then, as I lay in the arms of my new family, I finally realized what was going on. I had found what I had sought. After so many years, I finally had a family. A real, loving family to call my own.
The warmth of the fire was nothing compared to the warmth that I was feeling inside. For all fear, all uncertainty and all doubt was gone. I accepted where I was, what I was, and who I had become.
Part of a family.
We all slept on the carpet that night, curled up in each other in front of the fire. As I melted into the most restful sleep I have ever experienced, surrounded by ones who loved me, I had the strength to mentally say one thing.
"Thank you God…"
There you have it. That was my life up to the current day. What you read happened three years ago. Flash forward to today and you'll still find me here at the Sven's house.
So, what's it like living in bondage twenty four seven you ask? It is strange at first, but after a month you become completely used to it. I spend all my time locked in cuffs and my collar, but I don't mind. In fact, I've come to enjoy them and their lovely feel on me.
My hood is still on, occasionally taken off for cleaning along with my collar (in exchange though, my entire head is wrapped in soft bandages to keep me blind and helpless). I'm blind roughly half the time now. When we work with other people, I usually undo my blindfold and allow myself to see. But I enjoy being blinded and being in my own little world.
What's it like working with guests in this strange hostel
of ours? It's great.
You wouldn't believe how smart and respectful almost all our guests are
(only two have ever been kicked out). We
all get lots of cuddles and huggies each and every day.
And the constant sex with guests? Well…let's just say that it's a great bonus of the job!
As I write this in my journal, I look out the window (my eye hole is open at the moment) and watch the snow falling. Its Christmas time and we're quite busy. Good cheer takes on a whole new meaning when complete strangers are politely asking for sex. And it's just as delightful to answer them.
Well journal, I've got to go. I've got a lovely woman in room number five who's lonely and needs someone to hug!
As I leave, I write these last words:
Does God answer prayers? I can safely say the answer to that question is yes.
But as I can say from experience, it might not be in the way you expect!
December 5th, 2005